I had a much needed girl (not mom) evening, i.e. no kids. A friend and I went to watch Dear John, but before that we had a lovely light supper at a Greek Resaurant - It turned out to not be two very light meals, one last night and the rest for lunch today. The movie was good, I was quite surprised I thought it was going to be the proverbial love story, but it was so much deeper. Opening your eyes to the world of autism and terrorism and the war on it and how it affects families.
It got me thinking about what I would have done in the same situation - but I don't really want to go into what that situation is - in case I spoil it! But when a movie gets you thinking, surprises you and let's you shed a tear in dignity at the cinema - as opposed to loud sobbing and snorting - it has to be noted. A good movie - I would have given it more then a four, as some did!
So after getting home and climbing into bed I was rudely awoken with a noise I'm not used to - my one year old son - awake... AARGGHH, he is such a good sleeper and since he started sleeping through the night at 5 months, he hasn't had any of these (besides when he is sick), but then I know what to do.
I lay in bed thinking - how do I handle this, he is just talking, not crying... should I go in, should I leave it - well eventually I went in to see what the problem was. It was our little black kitten Miss Nina, who decided she was going to share the cot with the boy. I was irritated but at the same time happy that it was something I could fix and he could go back to sleep without a problem. Which he did for a while - until... the silly cat went back into his room. When I saw her there the second time I must admit there wasn't so much happiness and a whole lot more irritation... so this time I closed the door - tah dah - something I could have done in the first place - but obviously didn't. And that was that, back to bed I went and had a great sleep.
It's not always the case is it, sorting the problem out and going back to sleep?! These babies can't talk, they can't tell us what's wrong and there is so much on the internet and in books about all the stages they go through. So normally for a mom, going into the babies room in the middle of the night is such a stress, because, is it a growth spurt? a night terror? did he sleep too much during the day? did she sleep too little? Is he/she sick? Is he teething? What the hell is wrong with the child? Are they being naughty? Do they need sleep training? Is it separation anxiety? What about a wet/soiled nappy?
So many things to think about - IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!! I wish I could say I have a solution - I don't. These kids aren't robots and no amount of book knowledge, internet research or tips and checklists are going to give you the answers to your little person's needs. Only you can do that. Don't get me wrong - they really do help - but we are the ones who need to decipher what is going on, measure it up with what we've learnt/read/heard/seen and make the final decision.
I just picked my son up, he is supposed to be having his afternoon nap, but I've learnt he won't sleep with a poo nappy and when I walked into his room to check on him he said something that sort of sounded like boo (which I think means poo bum - because whenever he has a poo, I tell him poo bum) and he did sure enough, there it was a little present for me. Sometimes he drops his dummy and when I walk in the room he says something like mum mum - at first I was flattered, but when I followed his eyes to the ground I saw what he actually meant. Just for the record, he's not sleeping now - I think he's over the afternoon nap, because after changing him I put him back in the cot and he just cried, when I came BACK INTO THE ROOM - he reached out to me and made a noise that sounded like play - bay bay bay... so anyway, I took him out and he's in his room playing with his toys as we speak...
My point is only you, who spends time with your child will be able to know for sure what the problem is and the operative word there is "time". Life is so busy now, we need to get ahead, make money, succeed etc etc and it's important to work hard, but you need to spend time with your kids - hanging out, observing, interacting, listening, playing - it's all important.
I only sat down to blog, because I thought my boy was going to have a nap - my girls are watching their favourite tv program, which has just ended and my son is obviously not sleeping...
So I'm going to go and hang out with them...
Monday, March 1, 2010
Thursday, February 25, 2010
Being a mom
Being a mom is one of the most difficult things I have ever had to do in my life, but also the most rewarding - words I've read and heard over and over - and now I totally get what they mean. I've been doing it for just over 6 years. Two daughters and a son in that time have totally revolutionised who I am.
I love my kids to death, but sometimes I think they'll be the death of me. I can't believe how one minute I can be so in love with them and the next minute the veins in my head are popping out because I'm so angry. Look, I realise there are very good moms out there that NEVER raise their voice at their kids - Good on ya!! I'm not one of them!
But I am a good mom. My kids are healthy, clean (most of the time), they eat, they go to the toilet (boy do I know about that!!! Have you ever had two daughters on the toilet shouting "Come wipe my bum!!!" While you are changing a very big poo bum nappy??") Quite a joke really, what's even worse is when the 3 year old thinks she can wipe her own bum and comes running into the lounge - with no pants on and jumps on the couch.... SKID MARK!!! Luckily I have throws on my couches - something I learnt early on with kids!
TIP NO. 1: When pregnant, invest in either slip covers for your couches or throws - Skotch Guard should work too - but kids are hooligans, I would skotch guard my couches, buy slip covers and then cover them with throws!!! I'm not joking!! Actually what you could do is buy yourself a second hand lounge suite from a Pawn Shop, next to a fish shop, store your good couch away for 16 years and use your fish smelling couch instead - probably less stress in the long run!! HEE HEE Wait don't do that when you're pregnant = I almost puked because of the fish and chips shop couch in our lounge for the first 3 months!!! We weren't lucky enough to have any couches before then - the fish smell is gone now!!! HEE HEE
The phrase "good mom" varies from person to person - being a good mom to some, may mean having well behaved kids, and to others it may mean looking fabulous with 3 kids as accessories. Some people may see a woman playing with her kids in public and think "Wow, that's a great mom!" but have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. I'm not very affectionate - I try really hard to be, but it's not something that comes naturally, so I'm sure when I fetch my kids from school and I say "Hi Baby, let's go", the teachers must think 'mmm I wonder if this mom ever kisses her kids', but around the corner, when I remember to give her a hug or a kiss - I do.
No one is perfect - no parent, no child. If we just try to make things work - I think we're doing ok!!
Now I need to go and do some work - filing BLAAHHH,
I love my kids to death, but sometimes I think they'll be the death of me. I can't believe how one minute I can be so in love with them and the next minute the veins in my head are popping out because I'm so angry. Look, I realise there are very good moms out there that NEVER raise their voice at their kids - Good on ya!! I'm not one of them!
But I am a good mom. My kids are healthy, clean (most of the time), they eat, they go to the toilet (boy do I know about that!!! Have you ever had two daughters on the toilet shouting "Come wipe my bum!!!" While you are changing a very big poo bum nappy??") Quite a joke really, what's even worse is when the 3 year old thinks she can wipe her own bum and comes running into the lounge - with no pants on and jumps on the couch.... SKID MARK!!! Luckily I have throws on my couches - something I learnt early on with kids!
TIP NO. 1: When pregnant, invest in either slip covers for your couches or throws - Skotch Guard should work too - but kids are hooligans, I would skotch guard my couches, buy slip covers and then cover them with throws!!! I'm not joking!! Actually what you could do is buy yourself a second hand lounge suite from a Pawn Shop, next to a fish shop, store your good couch away for 16 years and use your fish smelling couch instead - probably less stress in the long run!! HEE HEE Wait don't do that when you're pregnant = I almost puked because of the fish and chips shop couch in our lounge for the first 3 months!!! We weren't lucky enough to have any couches before then - the fish smell is gone now!!! HEE HEE
The phrase "good mom" varies from person to person - being a good mom to some, may mean having well behaved kids, and to others it may mean looking fabulous with 3 kids as accessories. Some people may see a woman playing with her kids in public and think "Wow, that's a great mom!" but have no idea what goes on behind closed doors. I'm not very affectionate - I try really hard to be, but it's not something that comes naturally, so I'm sure when I fetch my kids from school and I say "Hi Baby, let's go", the teachers must think 'mmm I wonder if this mom ever kisses her kids', but around the corner, when I remember to give her a hug or a kiss - I do.
No one is perfect - no parent, no child. If we just try to make things work - I think we're doing ok!!
Now I need to go and do some work - filing BLAAHHH,
Introduction
In the June of 1977 a little girl was born, she was sweet and innocent and loved to eat! She lived with her mom and dad until they divorced when she was 5. She grew up with very few memories of her first 5 years, which was actually a very good thing, because the little she did remember made her cry.
She spent the next 19 years living with her mom. Her mom did her best to provide and even on the days when they just had toast, she always thought, well at least I won't get fat. Her mom and her lived one day at a time, sometimes never knowing where the next morsel of food would come from.
She never dreamed of her future. As a little girl, if you had asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, her answer would have been - "happy". She had no idea about the future prospects and couldn't even see herself as an adult - it just wasn't part of her thought patterns.
Just to set the picture correctly in your minds, this little family were by no means destitute, they had a home, her mom had a job, she went to school, but they just barely made it through.
Emotionally this little girl was very insecure and very sensitive, she never thought anyone would like her just for who she was, she always tried to be like her mom, because although poor, her mom was a very charismatic person. She never seemed to realise that her sensitivity and her gentleness were endearing traits.
As a teenager she tried so hard to get people to like her, losing sight of her own life. She just wanted to be liked and loved. Her dad, unfortunately, when she needed him most during her teenage years was not around, she heard from him maybe once a year and when she did it just made her even more sad.
This young girl grew into a lovely lady, combining her own inherent traits and those she'd learnt from her mom and the character built from not always getting what you want and having to make do, she found a really handsome boyfriend, who later became her husband. He was a fantastic man and after they were married, the changes started happening. She became more stable,because he loved her through it all, she became more confident, because he would tell her, her worth, she became happy - her life long dream had been realised... and when she was happy she really started to dream... Even as an adult already, she now knew what she wanted to be when she grew up.
She was able to look back on her "sad" life and see how even though she had to deal with a lot of hardship and pain, it made her into a person of character and with the help of her husband's love and support, she could look back on her life and make the most of it.
She could look back and use her experiences as foundations for her attitudes towards her future.
She realised that there is a solution to every problem, she realised that even when things are tough and out of your control, you can control your own attitude and make the most of what is happening in her life. She learned to make it work!!!
She is now a mother of three, a wife of one and a general all round happy person, with loads of ideas and loads of advice.
She loves to share what she knows, but not for her own self-esteem - but to give a helping hand to those struggling because she knows how it feels.
Her hearts desire is to help, wherever possible.
Her dream is to have a voice on behalf of those who don't.
Her hope is to make a difference in the world.
She spent the next 19 years living with her mom. Her mom did her best to provide and even on the days when they just had toast, she always thought, well at least I won't get fat. Her mom and her lived one day at a time, sometimes never knowing where the next morsel of food would come from.
She never dreamed of her future. As a little girl, if you had asked her what she wanted to be when she grew up, her answer would have been - "happy". She had no idea about the future prospects and couldn't even see herself as an adult - it just wasn't part of her thought patterns.
Just to set the picture correctly in your minds, this little family were by no means destitute, they had a home, her mom had a job, she went to school, but they just barely made it through.
Emotionally this little girl was very insecure and very sensitive, she never thought anyone would like her just for who she was, she always tried to be like her mom, because although poor, her mom was a very charismatic person. She never seemed to realise that her sensitivity and her gentleness were endearing traits.
As a teenager she tried so hard to get people to like her, losing sight of her own life. She just wanted to be liked and loved. Her dad, unfortunately, when she needed him most during her teenage years was not around, she heard from him maybe once a year and when she did it just made her even more sad.
This young girl grew into a lovely lady, combining her own inherent traits and those she'd learnt from her mom and the character built from not always getting what you want and having to make do, she found a really handsome boyfriend, who later became her husband. He was a fantastic man and after they were married, the changes started happening. She became more stable,because he loved her through it all, she became more confident, because he would tell her, her worth, she became happy - her life long dream had been realised... and when she was happy she really started to dream... Even as an adult already, she now knew what she wanted to be when she grew up.
She was able to look back on her "sad" life and see how even though she had to deal with a lot of hardship and pain, it made her into a person of character and with the help of her husband's love and support, she could look back on her life and make the most of it.
She could look back and use her experiences as foundations for her attitudes towards her future.
She realised that there is a solution to every problem, she realised that even when things are tough and out of your control, you can control your own attitude and make the most of what is happening in her life. She learned to make it work!!!
She is now a mother of three, a wife of one and a general all round happy person, with loads of ideas and loads of advice.
She loves to share what she knows, but not for her own self-esteem - but to give a helping hand to those struggling because she knows how it feels.
Her hearts desire is to help, wherever possible.
Her dream is to have a voice on behalf of those who don't.
Her hope is to make a difference in the world.
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