Dear John

I had a much needed girl (not mom) evening, i.e. no kids. A friend and I went to watch Dear John, but before that we had a lovely light supper at a Greek Resaurant - It turned out to not be two very light meals, one last night and the rest for lunch today. The movie was good, I was quite surprised I thought it was going to be the proverbial love story, but it was so much deeper. Opening your eyes to the world of autism and terrorism and the war on it and how it affects families.

It got me thinking about what I would have done in the same situation - but I don't really want to go into what that situation is - in case I spoil it! But when a movie gets you thinking, surprises you and let's you shed a tear in dignity at the cinema - as opposed to loud sobbing and snorting - it has to be noted. A good movie - I would have given it more then a four, as some did!

So after getting home and climbing into bed I was rudely awoken with a noise I'm not used to - my one year old son - awake... AARGGHH, he is such a good sleeper and since he started sleeping through the night at 5 months, he hasn't had any of these (besides when he is sick), but then I know what to do.

I lay in bed thinking - how do I handle this, he is just talking, not crying... should I go in, should I leave it - well eventually I went in to see what the problem was. It was our little black kitten Miss Nina, who decided she was going to share the cot with the boy. I was irritated but at the same time happy that it was something I could fix and he could go back to sleep without a problem. Which he did for a while - until... the silly cat went back into his room. When I saw her there the second time I must admit there wasn't so much happiness and a whole lot more irritation... so this time I closed the door - tah dah - something I could have done in the first place - but obviously didn't. And that was that, back to bed I went and had a great sleep.

It's not always the case is it, sorting the problem out and going back to sleep?! These babies can't talk, they can't tell us what's wrong and there is so much on the internet and in books about all the stages they go through. So normally for a mom, going into the babies room in the middle of the night is such a stress, because, is it a growth spurt? a night terror? did he sleep too much during the day? did she sleep too little? Is he/she sick? Is he teething? What the hell is wrong with the child? Are they being naughty? Do they need sleep training? Is it separation anxiety? What about a wet/soiled nappy?

So many things to think about - IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!!! I wish I could say I have a solution - I don't. These kids aren't robots and no amount of book knowledge, internet research or tips and checklists are going to give you the answers to your little person's needs. Only you can do that. Don't get me wrong - they really do help - but we are the ones who need to decipher what is going on, measure it up with what we've learnt/read/heard/seen and make the final decision.

I just picked my son up, he is supposed to be having his afternoon nap, but I've learnt he won't sleep with a poo nappy and when I walked into his room to check on him he said something that sort of sounded like boo (which I think means poo bum - because whenever he has a poo, I tell him poo bum) and he did sure enough, there it was a little present for me. Sometimes he drops his dummy and when I walk in the room he says something like mum mum - at first I was flattered, but when I followed his eyes to the ground I saw what he actually meant. Just for the record, he's not sleeping now - I think he's over the afternoon nap, because after changing him I put him back in the cot and he just cried, when I came BACK INTO THE ROOM - he reached out to me and made a noise that sounded like play - bay bay bay... so anyway, I took him out and he's in his room playing with his toys as we speak...

My point is only you, who spends time with your child will be able to know for sure what the problem is and the operative word there is "time". Life is so busy now, we need to get ahead, make money, succeed etc etc and it's important to work hard, but you need to spend time with your kids - hanging out, observing, interacting, listening, playing - it's all important.

I only sat down to blog, because I thought my boy was going to have a nap - my girls are watching their favourite tv program, which has just ended and my son is obviously not sleeping...

So I'm going to go and hang out with them...